Beyond the Mind

The Holidays can be a very difficult time for many people.  It seems like whatever people are going through the Holidays magnify the intensity of it.  For people who feel lonely the Holidays can feel excruciatingly lonely.  For people trying to quit an addiction to alcohol or cigarettes or drugs the Holidays can make it about 1,000 times more difficult.  People dealing with a loss of some kind, be it a romantic separation or the loss of a loved one may find the Holidays to be more than they can handle.

If the Holidays this year are difficult for you in some way my heart goes out to you.  I hope that you can find the true healthy kind of comfort you need during this time.  May you find that certain something inside of you that meets you exactly where you are with gentleness, acceptance, love and compassion.  This might be an important time for you to do something extra special for yourself. Treat yourself to a massage or sauna or whatever feels like spoiling yourself in a healthy and loving way.  

This is a good time to practice being your own best friend and if you are alone this is the perfect time for this!   This best friend of yours knows everything there is to know about you and accepts it all, more than that, loves you completely.  Pretend you are your own best friend in this way and think “what would this best friend say to me right now?” … or … “what would this best friend and I do right now to make this time less depressing or painful?” … and make sure you say or do whatever comes to you.

Let this be your guiding question for this time and all times -
“What is the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?”

Whenever you are in pain or confused this question can be a life saver if you sincerely inquire with it and then take action based upon the answer that comes to you.  I have written a lot about saying YES to our pain.  This is always important, among many other things it takes the sting out of the pain.  Our minds can be very talented at adding insult to injury.  It’s hard enough in life to deal with the pain we have but then to wish it wasn’t there, to hate it only makes it worse.  When you REALLY GET THIS you will orient very differently to the pain you feel.

So, my friend, this one goes out to you -

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

-traditional gaelic blessing

Happy Holidays!

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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I begin with a poem from Kabir.  This version of the poem is from Robert Bly’s The Soul is Here for Its Own Joy.  

The Time Before Death

Friend? hope for the Guest while you are alive.
Jump into experience while you are alive!
Think… and think… while you are alive.
What you call “salvation” belongs to the time before death.

If you don’t break your ropes while you’re alive,
do you think
ghosts will do it after?

The idea that the soul will join with the ecstatic
just because the body is rotten -
that is all fantasy.
What is found now is found then.
If you find nothing now,
you will simply end up with an apartment in the City of Death.
If you make love with the divine now, in the next life you will
have the face of satisfied desire.

So plunge into the truth, find out who the Teacher is, Believe in
the Great Sound!

Kabir says this: When the Guest is being searched for, it is the
intensity of the longing for the Guest that does all the work.
Look at me, and you will see a slave of that intensity.

________________________________________________

This poem might be a wake up call for many people and if it is one for you, congratulations.  Perhaps you are ready to take responsibility for your own salvation.  More and more people these days are not willing to have their salvation governed for them.  This is good news for these people and bad news for those who would use their supposed religious power to control the masses. In 1945 a scroll was discovered in Nag Hamadi, “The Secret Sayings of the Living Jesus,” i.e., The Gospel of Thomas.  The movie Stigmata references the most controversial saying of Jesus -

“The Kingdom of God is inside you and all around you,
Not in a mansion of wood and stone.
Split a piece of wood and God is there,
Lift a stone and you will find God.”

The more precise translation found on the Gnostic Society Library site is “If those who lead you say unto you: Behold, the Kingdom is in heaven, then the birds of the heaven will be before you. If they say unto you: It is in the sea, then the fish will be before you. But the Kingdom is within you, and it is outside of you. When you know yourselves, then shall you be known, and you shall know that you are the sons of the living Father. But if ye do not know yourselves, then you are in poverty, and you are poverty.”

Too bad people didn’t have access to these teachings over the past 1,900 years but luckily WE do.  You do not need a middleman to commune with God because you are a part of God.  You are swimming in God, God is within you and all around you.  To know yourself is to know god.  To find yourself here and now is to find yourself in the greatest cathedral ever built.  Become a slave of the intensity to know yourself in this way and you will meet the guest while you are still alive, then you will have the look of satisfied desire.

If you are celebrating Jesus’ birthday this year don’t forget to celebrate yours as well.  Your birth was no less significant.  Your true nature is worthy of just as much praise and worship and it is worth every effort you can make to know it more deeply NOW.

Happy Holidays to All!

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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So much of my journey has been about observing how my mind is constantly saying NO in one way or another to how things actually are, right now.  The more I notice this in myself the more able I am to embrace and abide in reality.  The awareness gives me a choice I did not have without it.  I see so much of our energy going into fighting with reality, we waste so much time and effort trying to change circumstances or ourselves.  Change is good but incessantly trying to improve or change the way things are at the expense of our natural enjoyment of the NOW is a cycle that never ends. 

We are deeply seduced by the lie - the idea that if we just tried harder we could actually make things perfect, then we could finally relax and enjoy the moment.  We need to wake up from this lie or we may find ourselves old and tired and still not able to enjoy our lives, still pushing and fighting with the way things are.  We can become forever entranced by our darkly shaded lenses, those that insist on seeing what’s wrong rather than what’s right with the present moment.  We don’t need better lenses, we just need to take our glasses off altogether, to see the miracle of NOW.

It’s understandable that most of us are hypnotized in this way, there is very little support in our culture for developing our ability to simply BE, we must DO in this culture.  Our success is measured not only by what we DO but how many toys or props we have to prove that what we DO is valuable.  Our BEINGNESS is not valued, and in the process who we really are is not valued.  To feel that who we are is not valued is deeply painful, perhaps the deepest pain imaginable and it is the plague of our time.  We are afraid of this pain so rather than facing it we try to FIX it.  We attempt to DO more, ACHIEVE more.  Maybe THEN we will feel loved and valuable.  Only YOU can get off this train to nowhere, you must step off of this train my friend, jump if you have to.

I want to point out what I call the pain gap.  We all have desires and we all have things we don’t like and most of us try to get what we want and stay away from what we don’t want.  This is the average condition for most people but it starts turning sour when we feel pain and unhappiness because we don’t have what we want or because we have what we don’t want.  We are in the pain gap.  This gap is as wide as the distance between what we want and where we are right now and as deep as how far we wish we were AWAY from the situation we are in right now.

Again, it is “normal” to feel this way, but to be human and on planet earth this scenario is unavoidable most of the time.  Buddha did a fine job of pointing this out, i.e. the first noble truth.  Buddha also pointed out that it is possible to step out of this cycle of suffering.  We can close this gap, we can start saying YES to the way things are.  We can even start to CHOOSE things to be the way they already are.  When we are not getting what we think we want we can turn to this situation and say “I choose this, this is the dish that GOD (or reality or the universe or whatever works for you) is serving me right now, so I choose it, thank you.” 

This radical and revolutionary shift may feel strange at first and will feel impossible much of the time.  It is a practice.  It is a practice that requires the humility to say “I don’t know for sure what’s right for me and I don’t know why things are happening the way they are but since THIS is what’s happening right now, I will choose it”.  Byron Katie says the way things are IS the way they should be simply because they are the way they are.  This is simple, elegant and profound wisdom from her.  Saying things shouldn’t be the way they are is insane.  To fight with reality is insane, and my friend you will NOT win that battle.  Learn to yield to reality, this is not passivity, this is wisdom in action.

I am now offering Realizing Freedom sessions for those interested in exploring issues like this within themselves on a deep level.  Think of the many ways you find it impossible to say YES to your life.  These are the portals through we which we can journey together, to find the YES that is already inside of you, that exalted warrior within you, already free and passionately alive.

Surrender my friend, victoriously to your true master - REALITY

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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I think sometimes people embark on their spiritual journey or undertake a meditation practice with unrealistic expectations. This is a setup for disappointment. People also often have misconceptions about what spiritual awakening and growth “looks like”. One of these misconceptions is that we can get rid of our minds. Sorry, we cannot, nor would we want to.

The mind itself is not the problem, it is the PROGRAMS we are running over and over again that is the problem. The masters tell us the nature of the mind is spaciousness, emptiness, peacefulness, vastness. I have glimpsed this, it is true. Again, our minds are not the problem, it is the beliefs that don’t serve us, the fears and other lies that we believe that is the problem. So, don’t ever try to get RID of your mind. Just observe it, and see how it creates suffering. Don’t even try to change this. Just observe it, become aware of it. This alone will start the parade of miracles that will happen. Over time we can experience larger gaps in the mind stream and notice our mind having more clarity and spaciousness.

Attempting to get rid of the mind is an exercise in futility, the more you try to push away your thoughts the worse they will get. Allow them to be there, sometimes it might be helpful to make friends with your mind. Other times, like when it is being vicious to you it might be better to tell it to shut the fuck up. Whatever it takes for you to DISIDENTIFY from your mind is the key here. You are not your mind, you are not your thoughts, the more you KNOW this the happier you will be. I remember the waves of relief that washed over me as I started to realize this truth. What Freedom!

True freedom has to do with being free from your mind, and you HAVE this freedom NOW, and only NOW. It is all about WHERE YOU PLACE YOUR ATTENTION. The mind will be there, most of the time spitting out useless and often times annoying thoughts. No big deal, the mind is an idiotic thought generating machine for most of us. Just let it be there, find a deeper channel to tune to, like your heart or your body. In this way you will start to experience true liberation, the freedom from your own mind. Now you are tasting what is Beyond the Mind.

Peace…

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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One of the most damaging spells we fall under is that of shame.  We believe some vicious, loveless lie our mind tells us about ourselves.  We most likely pick it up in our early years, so it is ingrained, it feels true - we are bad, there is something wrong with us (even if we can’t put words to it, we just know we are wrong and bad), people would make fun of me if they only knew this or that about me, etc… 

It is good to see how hateful this action in the mind is, notice the cruelty.  It can be helpful to ask yourself, would I let someone talk to me like this?  Would I allow a stranger or even a friend to talk to me the way my mind does when it makes me feel ashamed, bad, wrong, like a loser, a failure, not good enough?  Probably not, what would you say to this stranger or friend?  Most likely you would feel anger, you would defend yourself.  Do you defend yourself from your own mind?  Do you get angry at its tyranny?  If not, maybe you should…

There is something actually quite useful in anger.  The problem with anger is that most people don’t know how to use it, they are used BY it.  They lose control and lash out violently, they want to hurt someone or something.  This is Anger using You.  But, You can use Anger.  Anger is like a knife, it can hurt someone if used improperly.  But it can also be used to separate things.  We use knives all the time to cut things, in the same way you can use your anger to separate yourself from the destructive part of the mind, especially that part of the mind that is cruel to you or others.  It can be useful to have an ally in doing inner work like this.

Next time your mind is shaming you, making you feel bad about yourself try to see that you are believing a lie.  It is not true.  How can I know this?  Because your true nature is pure goodness, who you truly are is completely good, better than good.  Perhaps your actions sometimes aren’t so great, but you are NOT your actions, nor are you your thoughts.  So, if you are being made to feel bad about yourself in some way by your mind IT IS LYING TO YOU.  

Get angry, as you would to a stranger who was saying the same thing to you.  Go ahead, tell it to FUCK OFF and leave you alone.  This is a process but over time you will notice these shame attacks don’t last as long, happen less often, and you’re just not buying into it anymore.  You can use the knife or sword of divine anger to separate yourself from this toxic part of your mind.

The inner journey is not for wimps, it will test our courage and strength at times.  We need to rise up and meet our demons head on, look them in the eye and not back off.   You must become the master of your mind, not the other way around.

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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“In the middle of the road of my life I awoke in a dark wood where the true way was wholly lost”  - these are the words of Dante Alighieri, an Italian Author and one of the greatest poets in all literature.

The inner journey is full of varying landscapes, sometimes we find ourselves crossing the highest peaks, other times the deepest valleys and the darkest woods.  And sometimes, we don’t know where the hell we are.  We are lost.

Feeling lost is an interesting thing, it implies that in our minds we believe we are supposed to be somewhere else.  We have some kind of sense of where we are supposed to be, and we know this is definitely NOT it.  Bullshit! 

Your mind does not like uncertainty, it likes to feel in control, as if it knows what’s going on.  Feeling lost will make your mind scramble for certainty like nothing else.  Notice how it will not rest until it can feel back in control again, even if it has to lie to you, to itself.  Desperate times call for desperate measures, the mind has no nobility when it’s terrified.  It takes a certain strength of character to resist the lies and sit still, in the middle of the fog of uncertainty.  You have this strength, whether you know it or not.  Part of my work is to help you find this inner strength.

Really, it is the “making a problem out of what is” mechanism of the everyday mind that is the problem.  Being lost is not a problem.  It is part of life, you can fight it and suffer or you can surrender and flow.  We need to develop our skills of allowing things to be as they are, otherwise we just suffer.  If we feel lost, we feel lost, that’s where we’re supposed to be, NOW.  If we can fully arrive in the middle of that dark wood something may start to quiver in us.  Suddenly we are not lost at all, we are HERE, NOW.  We are found.

Here is a great poem on the subject.  Imagine yourself, alone, on a long journey in the deep wilderness, when suddenly your heart sinks, a lump forms in your throat, you realize you are completely …

Lost

by David Wagoner

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

So, what should you DO when you feel lost?  Nothing.  Just feel lost, GOD will find you there.

Peace

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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I sincerely hope you do, although if you are like most people I suspect bliss is more of a distant stranger that a permanent roommate.  Many spiritual teachings say it is the very pursuit of happiness itself and the avoiding of pain that causes our unhappiness in the first place.  It’s interesting, that phrase, “the pursuit of happiness” is one of the most famous phrases in the United States Declaration of Independence.  I don’t know about you but I’d rather be a “happiness haver” than a “happiness pursuer”.   Reminds me of the term “spiritual seeker”, people say that about themselves with a strange kind of pride sometimes.  Yet, I’d rather be a spiritual finder than seeker any day of the week.

I think it’s ok to not take the teachings too literally, it’s ok to pursue happiness, but I say BE SMART about it.  Depending on your level of realization, sometimes we just have to trust those wiser than us.  Maybe the great masters like Buddha or Jesus had something worthwhile to say?  Maybe we should take some of their advice to heart.   Things like “Happiness is found within” or “True Happiness has no cause, has nothing to do with how much money you have or how you look”, etc…  If these kinds of ideas are true, then why are we constantly looking outside ourselves for happiness?  We aren’t being smart about it, that’s why.  They say we are all one, that bliss comes from helping others, that it is this obsession with ourselves that causes the suffering.   Do we act that way in our own lives or are we constantly worrying about this little island called me?

I bring this up because I think there would be a lot more BLISS around if people turned their gaze inward.  But many are afraid, there’s a lot of “stuff” in there, stuff we don’t want to deal with or look at.  God is within you, they say.  Do we trust that?  Hell no, I don’t see God in there, I see a lots of issues, fears and grief and all kinds of crap!   I want to suggest we start to embrace our humanness, our messiness, our imperfectness.  This will aid us in our excavation process.  Trust me, you WILL arrive at the pay dirt, you will see what the great teachers have been saying, if you would only begin the journey.

This from a poem I wrote called 

Dawn 

My heart rises, like a thousand mystical sunrises on the ocean of being, yours is next, friend…

Bliss to All

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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The impulse to escape is in most of us, the need to escape from our lives.  We all have various ways we THINK we are doing it.  Some people use alcohol or drugs, some people use exercise, some people actually misuse meditation practice or prayer as a means of escape from the truth of reality NOW.  Some people are incessantly planning, always in the future, “things will better when this and that happens”.   Energetically these people are leaning forward, you may even notice signs of this in their body language and posture.  These types are likely often anxious, worrying, experiencing fear of some kind.  Other people escape to the past, “things were so great when blah blah blah, those were the days”.  These people are leaning back energetically, probably have common bouts of depression, sadness, melancholy, etc..

The funny thing is that the true refuge is one we all have access to in any given moment and we don’t need any kind of substance or circumstances to be any different than they actually are RIGHT NOW, because that refuge IS RIGHT NOW.   You see, the impulse in us of escaping has some intelligence to it, don’t judge it so fast.  What most of us are wanting to escape from is OUR MINDS.  The incessant inner chatter, the something is always not rightness of the everyday, unenlightened mind.  Some peoples minds are downright vicious, they probably need something strong to escape with.   Further down that road is the impulse of suicide, I think there is a grain of intelligence in it, people want to murder their minds, not themselves.  No one would want to kill themselves if their minds were at peace.

Let’s do an experiment, the inspiration from this came to me from watching one of Adyashanti’s videos on his website.  For the next 30 seconds I want you to be COMPLETELY PRESENT to the now.  That means, do not give your attention to the thinking process, it can be there, rather it will be there, count on it.  Nonetheless, you do not give it your attention.  Rather, focus on what is actually happening now.  That consists of sounds, smells, body sensations, feelings (without the accompanying story), etc…  Do this with as much focus and intensity as you can muster. 

When you’re finished, make a note of what disappeared during those 30 seconds, what did you have to let go of to do this?  I have good news for you - whatever disappeared during this exercise was NOT REAL and therefore not worthy of your attention.  Your TRUE POWER is in where you place your attention, your TRUE FREEDOM is the fact that you always are in control of where you place your attention, no one can take this away from you, except your own mind.

May we all take refuge in our true home, the greatest escape of all, the escape from illusion, that destination that requires no journey - the everpresent mystical NOW.  I’ll meet you there…

Peace

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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One of the greatest young awakened teachers of our time, Adyashanti says “Stand up and walk out of your dream. I am here to say that you can do this.”  In any moment, we can awaken.  I contend that everyone’s deepest and most heartfelt desire is to awaken, whether they know it or not.  Enlightenment, awakening, so they say, is simply the realization of our true nature.  In a sense, we only become more of who we actually are.  This is completely natural, a rose is simply, elegantly a rose, it is not trying to be anything else.  The typical human condition seems to be one in which the rose wishes it was a tree and the tree wishes it was a lake.  This is insanity, it is the typical condition and it is insane.

How do we become who we actually are?  We can start by accepting who we are in this very moment, totally, without reservation.  This especially includes whatever pain might be in our present condition, be it physical, emotional, whatever.  Most of us are on the endless treadmill of avoiding pain and seeking pleasure.  Look deeply at your life and behavior and see if this is not true.  Also see how well this works, does it work?

I am proposing a different way, I am suggesting we learn to accept THIS MOMENT as it actually is, that we accept OURSELVES as we actually are RIGHT NOW.   I have written about this quite a bit in this blog, perhaps it is the theme of the message I am trying to impart.  I have suggested we say YES to this moment, I was happy to see Adyashanti saying the same thing:

“All you have to do is say “yes.” Don’t make some big project out of it. Don’t make some big deal out of it. Just say “yes.” You don’t even know what it means to say “yes,” but you say it anyway. You’ll never know what it means to say “yes,” but you do it anyway. Freedom and Love arise when you die into the unknown mystery of being.”

~ Adyashanti

I want to even take this one notch further and suggest we learn to BE GRATEFUL for everything, especially our pain.   Our ego cannot follow us into this land, our small selves must die as we journey here.  If it is true that we all want to awaken, then we will see that our pain is a message, a great opportunity for us to heal something.  We should celebrate the arrival of our emotional pain, not in a masochistic way, but because we are given the chance now to know ourselves better.  It’s as if the pain is a small child in us tugging at our sleeve, saying “pay attention to me, I need help”.  How would you treat this child?  Do you treat yourself the same way?

I suggest the next time you notice you are suffering or if you are suffering right now in some way, imagine that this small child part of you is present, needing your LOVING ATTENTION.  Lie down somewhere in private, go into your body, feel the pain in your body as physical sensation, let go of the “story” behind the pain, experience it directly as physical sensation and stay with that for as long as feels right to you.  You may notice that small child feels cared for now, perhaps there is a lessening of the pain?  Perhaps it gets worse, the child still needs your love and attention.  Please consider this new way of being, it has worked for me, I still forget to do it, but when I do, I see the miracle, the true miracle it is to be alive.

Peace and Blessings,

Ralph

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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This needs to be addressed, this compartmentalization the mind uses to destroy the natural joy in our lives.  I need to be clear, when I say “the mind” in this blog I am referring to the every day, unenlightened, conditioned, programmed mind that most of us are operating from 99% of the time.  In the future, if I am talking about the true nature of the mind, the enlightened state, I will make it clear.  

Have you noticed how everything is labeled and categorized by our minds?  “I work from 9 to 5, this is my work time, I hate my job, this is unhappy time.  In the evening, when I veg out in front of the tv and allow myself to have my usual treats, this is my happy time.  My happy time is from 7pm to 10pm Mondays through Fridays.”   What does your mind label as happy time and non happy time? 

Mondays used to really suck for me, because in my mind, Monday’s sucked!  There was no chance for me to feel much joy on a Monday because I already “knew” Monday’s sucked.  It is important that we see the insanity in this, it might even help if you get a little pissed that your mind is robbing you of the inherent joy you could have full access to in ANY moment, in fact, in THIS VERY MOMENT.

Don’t let your mind tell you when you can and can’t be happy, peaceful, relaxed or anything else you want to feel.  The mind can be a good servant but is a terrible master.  It is time to realize your true inherent freedom.

HAPPY MONDAY Amigos, Rock On….

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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