Beyond the Mind

I am going to tell you about a get rich quick method that works so instantaneously it will blow your mind and it doesn’t matter the tiniest bit what your financial state is like at the moment.  You can become wealthier than the richest man alive in this very moment and in every moment of your life.  That’s because true wealth has absolutely nothing to do with how much money you have.  Some of the financially wealthiest people on the planet FEEL very impoverished.  It is not at all uncommon for very wealthy people to feel that they don’t have enough, always wanting more, indeed they can be some of the most miserable ungrateful people alive.  They can’t enjoy their money, they can’t say YES to life, they can only see what’s wrong with everything.  Of course, poverty striken people can also be like this, and they are equally as poor as these financially wealthy poor people.

True wealth is the feeling of gratitude.  This is not some airy fairy new age hype.  Don’t kid yourself, true wealth has to do with gratitude and love and absolutely nothing to do with money.   I am trying to save you a lot of time and energy here so try to take this to heart my friend.  I work with some very wealthy people who suffer so much and are very paranoid about their money being taken away from them and also with financially challenged people who are completely relaxed about money and very grateful for what little they have, they are the wealthier ones by far. 

My dearest and wisest friend Manda and I were actually discussing this the other day.  I was telling her if I could only teach a child one thing it would be gratitude.   Why?  Because I would know that no matter what this child has to face throughout the rest of his life he will be fine because he knows how to be grateful.  He sees what’s RIGHT in every moment, not what’s wrong.  He says YES to his life, even when things hurt or he doesn’t get what he thinks he wants, he knows how to say YES.  If nothing else he can always lay back on the soft grass of simple gratitude.  Gratitude that he can breathe, that he is alive, that he has all his limbs, that he can see and hear and smell and love and laugh and cry.  He can be grateful for his “non toothache” as the great Vietnamese Zen Buddhist Monk, teacher, author and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh says.  This child is and always will be eternally wealthy because he has mastered the attitude of gratitude.

And gratitude won’t just make you instantaneously wealthy internally but in time, as you practice it more and more you may notice things starting to get better for you financially and otherwise.  This is common spiritual knowledge, gratitude attracts good stuff to you.  Watch The Secret if you haven’t seen it yet.  In this film I believe a man discusses how he developed a practice of saying what he was grateful for every day and reports the miracles that started to happen in his life as a result. 

It’s not always as easy as that of course.  Gratitude, like any other natural, inherent spiritual quality can be blocked in people for various reasons.  It is in our true nature to always be completely grateful for everything.  It’s great to develop a practice of intentionally being grateful every day but it can be even more rich to explore why it is not already naturally occurring within you.  This is the kind of issue I love to work on with people because it can lead to some real immediate results in terms of their happiness level. 

It can be very hard for some people to feel gratitude.  Those who come from a family background in which misery loved company is one example.  Complaining and being negative was probably a way of getting attention and therefore love for them.  The squeaky wheel gets the oil.  They believe “If I am miserable and suffering then someone will feel sorry for me and love me”.  Their ego structure blocks feelings of gratitude because they equate it emotionally with being all alone and abandoned.  They unconsciously believe that if they feel grateful, then people will see that they’re fine and won’t give them any attention.  If being miserable equals getting love for a person then miserable they will remain.  It can be very fruitful to unpack this kind of thing with people.  In time, quite naturally, gratitude may start to shine through.  The horizon is becoming pink and purple, their heart is preparing to rise.  These are some of the most rewarding moments for me in my work.

Another important thing is that gratitude needs the fertile soil of humility to thrive in.  You cannot have one without the other.  Jesus said the meek shall inherit the earth.  I believe this is what he meant in part, that those with humility have gratitude and are therefore wealthy.  So my friend, my wish for you is that you can find the natural gratitude within you in each moment, so your heart can rise and shine for all of us.  The world needs this from you.

In Love,

Ralph

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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When you look in the mirror do you like what you see?

I am talking about an actual mirror but also about the mirror that reflects back to you your inner life?  Do you like what you see about your emotional life, your mental life, your spiritual life, your soul life?

I hope so, I hope that you can smile uopn all of it, the “full catastrophe” as Zorba put it so eloquently.  Yes, I hope you can do this, this is true spiritual wisdom in action, this is true tantra.  The little half smile of Quan Yin upon everything, with a heart as wide as the universe…

The average coach or counselor might suggest making a list of things you disapprove of in these mirrors, a nice list of things you want to improve about yourself that you can use to ask periodically “what step can I take today, small or large, towards improving this or that, or towards reaching this or that goal?”  I take a different approach.  It might be good to make such a list of the things you don’t like about yourself or things you’d like to improve about yourself, that’s fine.  Then I suggest you take that list and burn it, or use it as a paper airplane or as toilet paper.  It’ll be of more use to you in these ways.

My friend, the real issue is not to do with all these ideas you have about how you’re not good enough right now or how you could be an even better version of yourself right now.  The real issue is that the way you might be using this list robs you of the only peace that is ever possible, the peace that comes from being content and satisfied NOW.  The fact that you have this constant, ever changing list is not a “problem” per se, but it does mean you are probably never really happy or relaxed.  You are not at peace with yourself or your life as long as this list exists to remind you of what’s “wrong”.

Here might be a more skillful and fruitful exercise - make this very same list and then ask yourself daily “How can I take a small or large step today towards learning to accept this or that about myself today?”  I can suggest a few ways to proceed.  One way is to try to notice your own humanity, notice that you are an innocent being trying to make it on this strange planet during this strange time to be here.  Notice that you are doing the very best you can.  Perhaps some compassion will arise, towards yourself.  Let this wash over you if it does, let this release you from the hell you have created for yourself by not loving yourself completely.

Another way might be to notice how you judge other people for the very same thing you judge yourself for.  Can you see that they are only human and doing their very best?  For some people it’s easier to have compassion for others than for themselves.  If that sounds like you then this might be a better approach.  If some compassion for the other arises, feel it for them, let it wash over them and release them from the curse of your judgement.  Now, can you let some of that compassion wash over you?  If not, why can you afford them this healing but not give it to yourself?

In time, my wish for you is that you will burn that list because you no longer resent yourself for not being what your mind thinks you need to be to be OK, this is the land beyond the mind.  Rumi talks about this land

Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing
There is as field
I’ll meet you there

If you really want to save the planet, save yourself.  Becoming one more human being on this planet who knows how to really love himself or herself adds one more person to the planet who also knows how to really love others.  This is the beginning of real freedom, peace and harmony, may it be yours, now.

I am here to help you on this journey if you so desire it.

Peace

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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This is the normal condition for most people - divided internally and consequently conquered.  Conquered in the sense that there is very little harmony within, there is ineffectiveness, indecisiveness, inner turmoil.  Even the part of us that wants to be free from this suffering is part of the cause of the condition itself. 

This reminds me of a great line from an old Sting song  Consider Me Gone - “the search for perfection is all very well, but to look for heaven, is to live here in hell”.  Thank you Sting, that would sum up very nicely the point I try to make in almost every blog entry I write.

Anyway, back to this divided self.  Almost all spiritual, meditative disciplines attempt to address this condition.  There are also various therapeutic schools of thought designed to contend with it.  For example Gestalt therapy frequently employs a method of creating a dialogue between various parts of the self.  Internal Family Systems therapy is another form that takes a similar approach to the various selves within us.  There are many more. 

This is not a new understanding, the fact that our personalities consist of a fragmentation of sub selves, each with often times very different attitudes, beliefs and agendas has been known for a long time.  Many times one self will sound a lot like mother and another a lot like father.  But there are invariably many more selves than that.

These modern forms of therapy believe, as I do, that if we can get these parts of the self talking to each other, maybe we can forge some understanding between them, possibly even make some agreements and compromises amongst them to act harmoniously, as a whole.  This alone would be great progress for most people.  In many cases certain parts do not communicate at all to other parts, we are closer to schizophrenia in this case, but all ego is schizophrenic to some degree.

Of course, there is another level to all of this.  There is a matter of ultimate importance.  Amidst all the ideas, hopes and dreams we might have about being a better version of ourselves or having a better present moment something is occurring - the actual present moment is happening to the actual you, HERE NOW.  If you can’t be here for this NOW you won’t be able to be “there” for the “then” you are holding your breath for.  And if you can’t love and accept the actual you here and now, you won’t be able to accept and love the improved version of yourself that seems so important to attain.  The search for perfection never ends because the one searching does not know how to feel satisfied.

There is a way out.  The way we can immediately remove this divided, conquered condition is to be IMMEDIATELY here.  The word immediacy is a good one for describing this quality of presence.  We become total, there is no space between ourselves and our experience.  We can become one with how we feel, with the sounds in the room, the smells, the sensations in our bodies, even the accompanying liking or disliking of what is and the constant commentary/thinking process on top of it all.  Everything is OK in this oneness, there is no longer any problem, no more turmoil.  Suffering needs the fertile soil of division, fragmentation and separatness to thrive in.  You can escape this suffering.

Instead of being divided and conquered you can be ONE and LIBERATED!  But you cannot have this in the future my friend, you can only have it NOW.  Won’t you join me?

Peace and Happy New Year,

Ralph

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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