Beyond the Mind

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I think sometimes people embark on their spiritual journey or undertake a meditation practice with unrealistic expectations. This is a setup for disappointment. People also often have misconceptions about what spiritual awakening and growth “looks like”. One of these misconceptions is that we can get rid of our minds. Sorry, we cannot, nor would we want to.

The mind itself is not the problem, it is the PROGRAMS we are running over and over again that is the problem. The masters tell us the nature of the mind is spaciousness, emptiness, peacefulness, vastness. I have glimpsed this, it is true. Again, our minds are not the problem, it is the beliefs that don’t serve us, the fears and other lies that we believe that is the problem. So, don’t ever try to get RID of your mind. Just observe it, and see how it creates suffering. Don’t even try to change this. Just observe it, become aware of it. This alone will start the parade of miracles that will happen. Over time we can experience larger gaps in the mind stream and notice our mind having more clarity and spaciousness.

Attempting to get rid of the mind is an exercise in futility, the more you try to push away your thoughts the worse they will get. Allow them to be there, sometimes it might be helpful to make friends with your mind. Other times, like when it is being vicious to you it might be better to tell it to shut the fuck up. Whatever it takes for you to DISIDENTIFY from your mind is the key here. You are not your mind, you are not your thoughts, the more you KNOW this the happier you will be. I remember the waves of relief that washed over me as I started to realize this truth. What Freedom!

True freedom has to do with being free from your mind, and you HAVE this freedom NOW, and only NOW. It is all about WHERE YOU PLACE YOUR ATTENTION. The mind will be there, most of the time spitting out useless and often times annoying thoughts. No big deal, the mind is an idiotic thought generating machine for most of us. Just let it be there, find a deeper channel to tune to, like your heart or your body. In this way you will start to experience true liberation, the freedom from your own mind. Now you are tasting what is Beyond the Mind.

Peace…

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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One of the most damaging spells we fall under is that of shame.  We believe some vicious, loveless lie our mind tells us about ourselves.  We most likely pick it up in our early years, so it is ingrained, it feels true - we are bad, there is something wrong with us (even if we can’t put words to it, we just know we are wrong and bad), people would make fun of me if they only knew this or that about me, etc… 

It is good to see how hateful this action in the mind is, notice the cruelty.  It can be helpful to ask yourself, would I let someone talk to me like this?  Would I allow a stranger or even a friend to talk to me the way my mind does when it makes me feel ashamed, bad, wrong, like a loser, a failure, not good enough?  Probably not, what would you say to this stranger or friend?  Most likely you would feel anger, you would defend yourself.  Do you defend yourself from your own mind?  Do you get angry at its tyranny?  If not, maybe you should…

There is something actually quite useful in anger.  The problem with anger is that most people don’t know how to use it, they are used BY it.  They lose control and lash out violently, they want to hurt someone or something.  This is Anger using You.  But, You can use Anger.  Anger is like a knife, it can hurt someone if used improperly.  But it can also be used to separate things.  We use knives all the time to cut things, in the same way you can use your anger to separate yourself from the destructive part of the mind, especially that part of the mind that is cruel to you or others.  It can be useful to have an ally in doing inner work like this.

Next time your mind is shaming you, making you feel bad about yourself try to see that you are believing a lie.  It is not true.  How can I know this?  Because your true nature is pure goodness, who you truly are is completely good, better than good.  Perhaps your actions sometimes aren’t so great, but you are NOT your actions, nor are you your thoughts.  So, if you are being made to feel bad about yourself in some way by your mind IT IS LYING TO YOU.  

Get angry, as you would to a stranger who was saying the same thing to you.  Go ahead, tell it to FUCK OFF and leave you alone.  This is a process but over time you will notice these shame attacks don’t last as long, happen less often, and you’re just not buying into it anymore.  You can use the knife or sword of divine anger to separate yourself from this toxic part of your mind.

The inner journey is not for wimps, it will test our courage and strength at times.  We need to rise up and meet our demons head on, look them in the eye and not back off.   You must become the master of your mind, not the other way around.

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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“In the middle of the road of my life I awoke in a dark wood where the true way was wholly lost”  - these are the words of Dante Alighieri, an Italian Author and one of the greatest poets in all literature.

The inner journey is full of varying landscapes, sometimes we find ourselves crossing the highest peaks, other times the deepest valleys and the darkest woods.  And sometimes, we don’t know where the hell we are.  We are lost.

Feeling lost is an interesting thing, it implies that in our minds we believe we are supposed to be somewhere else.  We have some kind of sense of where we are supposed to be, and we know this is definitely NOT it.  Bullshit! 

Your mind does not like uncertainty, it likes to feel in control, as if it knows what’s going on.  Feeling lost will make your mind scramble for certainty like nothing else.  Notice how it will not rest until it can feel back in control again, even if it has to lie to you, to itself.  Desperate times call for desperate measures, the mind has no nobility when it’s terrified.  It takes a certain strength of character to resist the lies and sit still, in the middle of the fog of uncertainty.  You have this strength, whether you know it or not.  Part of my work is to help you find this inner strength.

Really, it is the “making a problem out of what is” mechanism of the everyday mind that is the problem.  Being lost is not a problem.  It is part of life, you can fight it and suffer or you can surrender and flow.  We need to develop our skills of allowing things to be as they are, otherwise we just suffer.  If we feel lost, we feel lost, that’s where we’re supposed to be, NOW.  If we can fully arrive in the middle of that dark wood something may start to quiver in us.  Suddenly we are not lost at all, we are HERE, NOW.  We are found.

Here is a great poem on the subject.  Imagine yourself, alone, on a long journey in the deep wilderness, when suddenly your heart sinks, a lump forms in your throat, you realize you are completely …

Lost

by David Wagoner

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

So, what should you DO when you feel lost?  Nothing.  Just feel lost, GOD will find you there.

Peace

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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I sincerely hope you do, although if you are like most people I suspect bliss is more of a distant stranger that a permanent roommate.  Many spiritual teachings say it is the very pursuit of happiness itself and the avoiding of pain that causes our unhappiness in the first place.  It’s interesting, that phrase, “the pursuit of happiness” is one of the most famous phrases in the United States Declaration of Independence.  I don’t know about you but I’d rather be a “happiness haver” than a “happiness pursuer”.   Reminds me of the term “spiritual seeker”, people say that about themselves with a strange kind of pride sometimes.  Yet, I’d rather be a spiritual finder than seeker any day of the week.

I think it’s ok to not take the teachings too literally, it’s ok to pursue happiness, but I say BE SMART about it.  Depending on your level of realization, sometimes we just have to trust those wiser than us.  Maybe the great masters like Buddha or Jesus had something worthwhile to say?  Maybe we should take some of their advice to heart.   Things like “Happiness is found within” or “True Happiness has no cause, has nothing to do with how much money you have or how you look”, etc…  If these kinds of ideas are true, then why are we constantly looking outside ourselves for happiness?  We aren’t being smart about it, that’s why.  They say we are all one, that bliss comes from helping others, that it is this obsession with ourselves that causes the suffering.   Do we act that way in our own lives or are we constantly worrying about this little island called me?

I bring this up because I think there would be a lot more BLISS around if people turned their gaze inward.  But many are afraid, there’s a lot of “stuff” in there, stuff we don’t want to deal with or look at.  God is within you, they say.  Do we trust that?  Hell no, I don’t see God in there, I see a lots of issues, fears and grief and all kinds of crap!   I want to suggest we start to embrace our humanness, our messiness, our imperfectness.  This will aid us in our excavation process.  Trust me, you WILL arrive at the pay dirt, you will see what the great teachers have been saying, if you would only begin the journey.

This from a poem I wrote called 

Dawn 

My heart rises, like a thousand mystical sunrises on the ocean of being, yours is next, friend…

Bliss to All

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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The impulse to escape is in most of us, the need to escape from our lives.  We all have various ways we THINK we are doing it.  Some people use alcohol or drugs, some people use exercise, some people actually misuse meditation practice or prayer as a means of escape from the truth of reality NOW.  Some people are incessantly planning, always in the future, “things will better when this and that happens”.   Energetically these people are leaning forward, you may even notice signs of this in their body language and posture.  These types are likely often anxious, worrying, experiencing fear of some kind.  Other people escape to the past, “things were so great when blah blah blah, those were the days”.  These people are leaning back energetically, probably have common bouts of depression, sadness, melancholy, etc..

The funny thing is that the true refuge is one we all have access to in any given moment and we don’t need any kind of substance or circumstances to be any different than they actually are RIGHT NOW, because that refuge IS RIGHT NOW.   You see, the impulse in us of escaping has some intelligence to it, don’t judge it so fast.  What most of us are wanting to escape from is OUR MINDS.  The incessant inner chatter, the something is always not rightness of the everyday, unenlightened mind.  Some peoples minds are downright vicious, they probably need something strong to escape with.   Further down that road is the impulse of suicide, I think there is a grain of intelligence in it, people want to murder their minds, not themselves.  No one would want to kill themselves if their minds were at peace.

Let’s do an experiment, the inspiration from this came to me from watching one of Adyashanti’s videos on his website.  For the next 30 seconds I want you to be COMPLETELY PRESENT to the now.  That means, do not give your attention to the thinking process, it can be there, rather it will be there, count on it.  Nonetheless, you do not give it your attention.  Rather, focus on what is actually happening now.  That consists of sounds, smells, body sensations, feelings (without the accompanying story), etc…  Do this with as much focus and intensity as you can muster. 

When you’re finished, make a note of what disappeared during those 30 seconds, what did you have to let go of to do this?  I have good news for you - whatever disappeared during this exercise was NOT REAL and therefore not worthy of your attention.  Your TRUE POWER is in where you place your attention, your TRUE FREEDOM is the fact that you always are in control of where you place your attention, no one can take this away from you, except your own mind.

May we all take refuge in our true home, the greatest escape of all, the escape from illusion, that destination that requires no journey - the everpresent mystical NOW.  I’ll meet you there…

Peace

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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One of the greatest young awakened teachers of our time, Adyashanti says “Stand up and walk out of your dream. I am here to say that you can do this.”  In any moment, we can awaken.  I contend that everyone’s deepest and most heartfelt desire is to awaken, whether they know it or not.  Enlightenment, awakening, so they say, is simply the realization of our true nature.  In a sense, we only become more of who we actually are.  This is completely natural, a rose is simply, elegantly a rose, it is not trying to be anything else.  The typical human condition seems to be one in which the rose wishes it was a tree and the tree wishes it was a lake.  This is insanity, it is the typical condition and it is insane.

How do we become who we actually are?  We can start by accepting who we are in this very moment, totally, without reservation.  This especially includes whatever pain might be in our present condition, be it physical, emotional, whatever.  Most of us are on the endless treadmill of avoiding pain and seeking pleasure.  Look deeply at your life and behavior and see if this is not true.  Also see how well this works, does it work?

I am proposing a different way, I am suggesting we learn to accept THIS MOMENT as it actually is, that we accept OURSELVES as we actually are RIGHT NOW.   I have written about this quite a bit in this blog, perhaps it is the theme of the message I am trying to impart.  I have suggested we say YES to this moment, I was happy to see Adyashanti saying the same thing:

“All you have to do is say “yes.” Don’t make some big project out of it. Don’t make some big deal out of it. Just say “yes.” You don’t even know what it means to say “yes,” but you say it anyway. You’ll never know what it means to say “yes,” but you do it anyway. Freedom and Love arise when you die into the unknown mystery of being.”

~ Adyashanti

I want to even take this one notch further and suggest we learn to BE GRATEFUL for everything, especially our pain.   Our ego cannot follow us into this land, our small selves must die as we journey here.  If it is true that we all want to awaken, then we will see that our pain is a message, a great opportunity for us to heal something.  We should celebrate the arrival of our emotional pain, not in a masochistic way, but because we are given the chance now to know ourselves better.  It’s as if the pain is a small child in us tugging at our sleeve, saying “pay attention to me, I need help”.  How would you treat this child?  Do you treat yourself the same way?

I suggest the next time you notice you are suffering or if you are suffering right now in some way, imagine that this small child part of you is present, needing your LOVING ATTENTION.  Lie down somewhere in private, go into your body, feel the pain in your body as physical sensation, let go of the “story” behind the pain, experience it directly as physical sensation and stay with that for as long as feels right to you.  You may notice that small child feels cared for now, perhaps there is a lessening of the pain?  Perhaps it gets worse, the child still needs your love and attention.  Please consider this new way of being, it has worked for me, I still forget to do it, but when I do, I see the miracle, the true miracle it is to be alive.

Peace and Blessings,

Ralph

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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This needs to be addressed, this compartmentalization the mind uses to destroy the natural joy in our lives.  I need to be clear, when I say “the mind” in this blog I am referring to the every day, unenlightened, conditioned, programmed mind that most of us are operating from 99% of the time.  In the future, if I am talking about the true nature of the mind, the enlightened state, I will make it clear.  

Have you noticed how everything is labeled and categorized by our minds?  “I work from 9 to 5, this is my work time, I hate my job, this is unhappy time.  In the evening, when I veg out in front of the tv and allow myself to have my usual treats, this is my happy time.  My happy time is from 7pm to 10pm Mondays through Fridays.”   What does your mind label as happy time and non happy time? 

Mondays used to really suck for me, because in my mind, Monday’s sucked!  There was no chance for me to feel much joy on a Monday because I already “knew” Monday’s sucked.  It is important that we see the insanity in this, it might even help if you get a little pissed that your mind is robbing you of the inherent joy you could have full access to in ANY moment, in fact, in THIS VERY MOMENT.

Don’t let your mind tell you when you can and can’t be happy, peaceful, relaxed or anything else you want to feel.  The mind can be a good servant but is a terrible master.  It is time to realize your true inherent freedom.

HAPPY MONDAY Amigos, Rock On….

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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In my years around the Native American ceremonies of the sweatlodge and vision quest I learned a bit about coyote medicine.  The coyote is considered the trickster, among many other things, in most Native American traditions.

Photo courtesy of National Geographic

Later, as I began to deepen more into meditative practices I realized that I have been living with this trickster my whole life, in the form of my mind.   It has been helpful for me to remember this in my journey.  Have you seen this in yourself, the coyote like nature of your mind?

A major turning point in my journey was when I began to realize that I AM NOT MY MIND, I AM NOT MY THOUGHTS.  I think many of us walk around in a trance, believing everything our minds are telling us.  This is a sad condition to be in, please free yourself!  I still fall into the trance often but then I realize Coyote has got me.   Why do we get suckered in so often by the often times ridiculous and destructive propaganda of our own thinking? 

Most of the time if I notice I am suffering in some way, feeling anxiety or worrying or depressed, if my tracking skills are good that day, I can track it back to some idiotic thought that has passed under my radar.   That sneaky little devil got me again!  This must be why the teachings tell us to be AWARE so we can notice when coyote is trying to sneak under the fence.  Coyotes don’t like to be caught in the act, but even if they are, that won’t stop them from trying again.  So, we need to be AWARE as much as we can.

Most of the time, if we examine our thoughts, we will notice that they are either not true, not very useful or not very original.  Apparently some scientific study was done on our thinking and some ridiculously large percentage of our thoughts in any given day, something in the order of 90% WE HAD THE DAY BEFORE!  Does this seem unnecessary to you at all?  Think of the energy wasted in all this.  Coyote is having a field day!

The important thing I want to convey is that it might be useful for some of us to realize that just because we think something, #1 that doesn’t mean that it’s true and #2 we don’t need to react to it in any way.  We don’t need to DO anything about it, we can just let it go.  Ahhhhhh…  It can be helpful to have a friend to practice this with.

I’ll leave you with a question to ponder, if you are NOT our mind, NOT your thoughts then WHO ARE YOU?

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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I recently noticed the “Think Different Challenge” which I thought was a great idea to inspire some very good writers out there to say a few words about how they mentally approach situations in their lives that they currently have negative thoughts or feelings towards.  If you have been reading my blog you know that just about every entry has to do with how we handle our inner experience.  I have found that the most important step in my inner development has been to change my attitude from one of not wanting to deal with my pain to accepting, allowing, welcoming and even saying YES to my pain.  This is my primary work with my clients as well, the content of their problems is actually of secondary importance to their attitude and energetic posture towards their suffering.

I say it in this order because it seems to work that way - first if we can just ACCEPT that we are in pain, that’s a good start.  Let’s use an example.   One of the hardest things in life is dealing with a romantic separation.  A lot of us try to pretend we are not suffering or do many things to try to not FEEL our heartache.  We keep ourselves busy and go to great lengths to somehow not have to think about or feel the loss.  If we can just ACCEPT that we are in pain, we then have our first opportunity to actually allow it to heal some.  We can sit still with it a bit, sip on it.  We can now accept the pain and allow it to be there, just the way it is.  Now the healing can begin.  The healing can’t begin if we are denying or repressing or trying to avoid our pain.  Once, we really GET this, we may even start to welcome it in and say yes to it.

A very common pitfall in doing this is believing the story that comes with the pain.  This is where our thinking is less than useful.  Often times the pain we are feeling is being generated by a story in our minds that simply isn’t true, or at least something that we cannot be SURE is true.   In whatever way we can, it is helpful to drop the story, to suspend belief in it so we can have the space to FEEL.   A wonderful teacher of mine from the days I was in the Ridhwan school used to put it this way “Feel it but Don’t Believe it”.  That is excellent advice.  So my angle on thinking differently about our suffering is to think less, feel more and don’t believe the hype your mind is feeding you, especially if it is causing more pain.

The Dalai Lama says this beautifully, he addresses how we spend too much energy in the US developing our minds instead of our hearts -

No matter what is going on
Never give up
Develop the heart
Too much energy in your country
Is spent developing the mind
Instead of the heart
Be compassionate
Not just to your friends
But to everyone
Be compassionate
Work for peace
In your heart and in the world
Work for peace
And I say again
Never give up
No matter what is going on around you
Never give up

So, instead of thinking differently, perhaps we can find a way to simply think LESS and love MORE.

Peace to You…

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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One thing all the greatest spiritual teachers seem to agree on is that there is an optimal energetic posture that we can have towards our inner experience.  That posture is one of welcoming and allowing.  It is one of saying YES to WHAT IS.  I have written about this before but it is worthy of being repeated, and repeated.  More than that, it is worthy of spending time and energy developing this skill.  When I find myself waay of course, suffering a lot, this always helps me to return to my true home, the ever present refuge called HERE and NOW.  

One of my first teachers turned me on to a poem that describes this energetic posture perfectly.  Many of you have heard of Rumi, the great mystic Sufi poet, and many still have heard his poem “The Guest House”.  Let’s read -

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

This beautiful poem is very much worthy of being on your shelf, I believe it is contained in this book -

What if we were able to remember in our darkest hour that what we are experiencing should be treated with respect?  That we should even welcome it, because maybe it is being sent to us as a guide from beyond?  Perhaps it is sent to us to sweep us clean so that we can contain more joy, more peace, more compassion, more love.  What if this pain is not an accident, not something to get rid of as quickly as possible?  What if there is something sacred in it?

Another mystical poet, Kahlil Gibran, says it beautifully, he puts it this way -

On Joy and Sorrow

by Kahlil Gibran

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

Another beauty worth owning  -

May we all meet our experience with this depth of understanding!  

Have you ever noticed there is one thing that is never damaged by a Hurricane?  What is it?  The wind, the water itself survives the Hurricane just fine, because it is one with the Hurricane.  Perhaps, if we can become as flowing as air and water we can become one with our own internal Hurricanes, our pain.  When there is nothing in us that stays solid, nothing that resists the NOW we are able to find that place where we are always ok.  Even death can’t harm us there.  This is the way beyond the way, this is the illuminated trail that will take us home, I’ll meet you there my friends, at the intersection of HERE and NOW as one of my most beloved teachers would call it.

In Peace and Love…

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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