Beyond the Mind

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The first time I heard this poem I was also on a retreat at my home away from home, Spirit Rock Meditation Center.  You can imagine it was an eye opener and no mistake.  Imagine sitting in meditation for days and then hearing one of the teachers blurt out the following poem -

Feeling Fucked Up

by Etheridge Knight

Lord she’s gone done left me done packed up and split
and I with no way to make her
come back and everywhere the world is bare
bright bone white crystal sand glistens
dope death dead dying and jiving drove
her away made her take her laughter and her smiles
and her softness and her midnight sighs–

Fuck Coltrane and music and clouds drifting in the sky
fuck the sea and trees and the sky and birds
and alligators and all the animals that roam the earth
fuck marx and mao fuck fidel and nkrumah and
democracy and communism fuck smack and pot
and red ripe tomatoes fuck joseph fuck mary fuck
god jesus and all the disciples fuck fanon nixon
and malcom fuck the revolution fuck freedom fuck
the whole muthafucking thing
all i want now is my woman back
so my soul can sing

Damn right Etheridge, thank you brother! 

What the hell does this have to do with the journey from here to here?  It’s not so much the content of his words as the vibe, the spirit in it.  Etheridge isn’t trying to be anything but what he is, he’s not trying to feel differently from how he feels.  His heart is torn apart and he is total with it.  He is laying it out on the line, he is being REAL, and when you read his words you can feel that realness.  Sometimes we feel fucked up, a lot of the time maybe.  And feeling fucked up isn’t the problem, thinking there’s a problem with feeling fucked up is the problem.  Feeling fucked up is part of life, I say enjoy it, just like everything else, it’ll pass.  It is possible to be free in any moment, no matter how painful, there is always a portal.

Party on!

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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Some of you might remember that line from Dune - “The Sleeper Must Awaken”

That line always gives me goosebumps.  There is something haunting about it, very much like one of my favorite Rilke poems, The Man Watching, it is worthy of a read NOW -

The Man Watching

by Rainer Maria Rilke

I can tell by the way the trees beat, after
so many dull days, on my worried windowpanes
that a storm is coming,
and I hear the far-off fields say things
I can’t bear without a friend,
I can’t love without a sister

The storm, the shifter of shapes, drives on
across the woods and across time,
and the world looks as if it had no age:
the landscape like a line in the psalm book,
is seriousness and weight and eternity.

What we choose to fight is so tiny!
What fights us is so great!
If only we would let ourselves be dominated
as things do by some immense storm,
we would become strong too, and not need names.

When we win it’s with small things,
and the triumph itself makes us small.
What is extraordinary and eternal
does not want to be bent by us.
I mean the Angel who appeared
to the wrestlers of the Old Testament:
when the wrestler’s sinews
grew long like metal strings,
he felt them under his fingers
like chords of deep music.

Whoever was beaten by this Angel
(who often simply declined the fight)
went away proud and strengthened
and great from that harsh hand,
that kneaded him as if to change his shape.
Winning does not tempt that man.
This is how he grows: by being defeated, decisively,
by constantly greater beings.

I don’t know why, but that poem and that line from Dune feel to me as if they are saying the same thing.  The sleeper must awaken within us, we must awaken, and there is only one chance we have at doing so, and that time has come, it is NOW.  There is only one place it can happen, and miraculously, we are actually there NOW, it is HERE.  A storm is coming, we must awaken, HERE and NOW!

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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It’s a popular thing these days in the self help world, the importance of loving ourselves.  We are told to love ourselves and of course it makes sense but how far do we really get down that road?  It’s not always easy to love ourselves, mainly because we are often our own worst critics.  It’s hard to watch people we love get down on themselves and it’s even harder when we fall into the same rut.  There are many reasons why it’s difficult to love ourselves, probably as many reasons as there are people. How can we deepen our love for ourselves in a more meaningful way?

I think a lot of the problem, yep, you guessed it, is with our minds, our thoughts. First of all, the unenlightened mind has all kinds of labels for who we are, none of which really capture our true essence.  We are not what we do, we are not what we feel and thank god we are not what we think.  But the mind thinks we are what we do or think or feel and that makes it nearly impossible to love ourselves.  Because we aren’t always “good” or “nice” or whatever it is we think we need to be to be lovable.  I contend that we are lovable because we exist but this takes a deep level of realization to really feel.

The other problem is that we are filled with all kinds of ideas of how we SHOULD BE.  We all have this ideal image of the way we are supposed to be and this causes us so to suffer endlessly and needlessly.  If only I lost about 10lbs, wasn’t so argumentative, had a better paying job and my own home, THEN, THEN I will be nearly perfect and THEN I will love myself.   That’s the lie - that we need to be any “better” or different from the way we are RIGHT NOW to be worthy of our own love.  For some of us it’s easier to love others that way but unless we can learn to really love ourselves unconditionally we really can’t love others very deeply.

I notice this all the time in my own experience, the many ideas my mind has of how I should be better or different and how this robs me of the ability to love and accept myself NOW.  I also notice it constantly in the people I work with, it is important work we do together, uncovering these lies.  It truly is this inner critic that makes it nearly impossible for us to love ourselves.  There are many ways to work with this part of the mind.  I can recommend a pretty good book that might help.  Byron Brown’s book Soul Without Shame is really great in this department.

But one way or another, we need to learn how to DISENGAGE from this part of our minds because the list will never end of how you could be better according to it and as long as it is around broadcasting it’s propaganda our chances of loving ourselves are pretty slim. Start noticing when you are comparing yourself to some ideal image you have of how you SHOULD be and see the suffering this causes. CHOOSE to love yourself as you are now, you have this power, claim it. This is true self mastery, this is true spiritual warriorship.

Love to All…

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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I was once on a meditation retreat at Spirit Rock Meditation Center and one of the teachers would say in the middle of the sitting sessions, out of the blue, “It’s Just Like This”. This went on for days and for me it was very significant. Almost every time one of his It’s Just Like This’s rang out it would catch me in the middle of some mind fuck about something. I had to chuckle because in every case I could identify the subtle, and often times not so subtle “It Shouldn’t Be Like This!” cry of my mind.

You may have already noticed this, that the mind is never ok with how things are right now. In fact, the conditioned mind EXISTS in problems, it is MADE OUT of problems. The mind or ego is terrified of the true condition of things, the fact that “Everything is As It Should BE”. The mind senses it’s own extinction at the very whiff of this.

The good news is that we are not our minds, we are not our thoughts. The bad news is that most of us THINK we are. This is probably the most tenacious false belief of the average mind, it can be useful to get some help in seeing through this.  We also might find it helpful to talk to our minds like a small child. You might be amazed at how much better you can feel if you just ACCEPT things as they are right now. This is not being passive, this is being a martial artist with reality. We can bend and sway with the winds of HERE and NOW. For example, let’s say you’re feeling lonely. There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling lonely. If we accept that we are feeling lonely there is no sense of PROBLEM. We might even enjoy being lonely. Maybe we can say to our mind “I know you would prefer to not be lonely right now but the fact is that you ARE lonely right now and there isn’t much you can do about it in this moment. It’s just like this little mind and that’s ok. It’s Just Like This”

That Spirit Rock teacher will never know the gift he gave me, those few words have helped me cross the chasm of NOT OK to OK many times. The journey to HERE lives on. I hope some of you might add this little tool to your toolbox, the “It’s Just Like This, and That’s OK”.

Wishing You Peace…

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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I want to point the magnifying glass today on one of the most famous IF THEN’s out there, the ever present To Do List.  Many of us have very elaborate ones and some of us have very simple ones but almost all of us have one.   Those of us who claim not to have one are either lying or not aware of having one, or are completely enlightened.

In any case, it doesn’t really matter what the content of your list is, but how you “hold” the list.  Are you the master of the list?  Sure, maybe you CREATE the list, but that doesn’t mean you are the master of it.  For many of us the list takes on a life of it’s own, the LIST becomes the master.  We cannot relax unless we get this and that accomplished, there is so much satisfaction in crossing things off the list.  We are good boys and girls when we do everything on our list, then we DESERVE to relax and have a couple drinks or whatever way we reward ourselves.  We have EARNED our treats and relaxation time.

It can be helpful to notice this inner tyranny at play, it can loosen the hold on us, we can wiggle a little looser from it and reclaim mastery from this pesky part of our minds.  You don’t need to EARN relaxation or happiness, there is never a time when you don’t DESERVE it.  You exist, therefore you DESERVE to be happy and relaxed, always.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

 Happy Trails…..

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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IF THEN logic might be useful to computers but for us human beings it is often less than useful.  The many IF THEN’s the mind seduces us with.   The everyday programmed mind most of us have is usually not our friend, but quite cleverly pretends to be.  It will promise us happiness, relaxation, whatever … but with a catch involved, always a catch involved.  What IF THEN’s does YOUR mind sucker you with?

IF only I had more money, THEN I would be happy…

IF only I had a really hot girlfriend who likes to have sex all the time, THEN I would be happy…

IF only I felt more in touch with what I should be doing with my life, THEN I would be happy…

IF only I had a better body, THEN I would be happy…

IF only I could just get this thing done, THEN I could relax…

IF only my boss wasn’t such a jerk, THEN I could enjoy my work…

BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is all just a crock of bullshit, don’t believe the hype my friends.  You can be happy RIGHT NOW, you can relax RIGHT NOW, you are the master, not your mind.  It might be useful to identify your top 5 or 10 IF THENS’s so next time your mind tries to rob you of your inherent natural right to be happy and relaxed for no reason at all you can tell it to take a hike.  It can be really helpful to explore this issue in a deep way, the pay off can often times be enormous for people.

The IF THEN’s are endless, maybe the content of them will change over time, but the effect is the same - they are all saying the same thing - “My life is not OK the way it is right now” …

and to that I say BULLSHIT!

Fart in the Face of this and THRIVE my friends

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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If I had only one helpful phrase I could impart to you it would be to just say YES to whatever you are feeling, whatever circumstance you may find yourself in.  If you can find the true and sincere YES in yourself you can be free right now.  It is the incessant NO of the mind that is the problem, not what we are feeling, not what circumstances we may be in.  The everyday programmed mind that most of us walk around with can only say NO to everything, nothing is ever good enough as it is right now, at least not for very long.  And as long as we allow our minds/thoughts to drive the bus we will forever be on the treadmill trying to satisfy the latest craving or to push away the latest annoyance or whatever it is that’s NOT OK this time.  See for yourself if this is true in your experience.

This is actually good news, because it means, at least to me, that we actually don’t need things to be different from how they are right now to be happy.  The happiness that is caused by something is not the real happiness.  If your happiness is “because this is like this” or “that isn’t like that” then enjoy it while you can, because it can’t last very long.  If you can say YES to this moment exactly as it is then you might find yourself being happy and content for no reason at all, and then my friend, you’ve got something you can take with you.  This is the only thing worth working towards in my opinion.

There is a great CD with the song “Just Say Yes” on it that I love. I find it to be a great way to remind myself that I can be free right now if I can only say it and mean it. Check it out -

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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Our lives exist only HERE and NOW. Nothing else, ultimately, is real, so the masters say. But do not try to convince your mind of this. Anyone who has undertaken some kind of meditation practice of watching and observing the mind may notice soon enough that the mind is never satisfied with HERE and NOW. There is always some way we could improve things, just a little bit. If we could only remove this person or thing or circumstance from our sight, then things would be better. If only I had a better lover or a better job, if only the temperature in the room was a tad bit cooler, THEN I would be happy. How long do your moments of total contentment last before your mind is off onto the next thing? Try to watch a sunset sometime without having a single thought unrelated to what is actually happening right here and now. If you can do this, congratulations! If not, welcome to the human condition, at least the condition most of us are in. But we cannot condemn the mind either, make it bad, make IT the new problem. We can only notice what it does to us, how it devalues our present moment experience. The magic can come in the noticing. If we can only notice it and allow that to be OK, perhaps we can go beyond the mind for a few moments here and there. Then maybe, for a split second, out of the corner of our eye we may have a glimpse of that non destination, the HERE and NOW.A fantastic contemporary teaching of this is found in this great book and the many other books by Eckhart Tolle -

Eckhart is someone who has made the journey from Here to Here. He is a teacher who embodies the fruition of this journey, I highly recommend all and any of his books or books on tape. If you can ever catch him live in a seminar, you will FEEL and TASTE the spirit of the journey.

If this is the kind of issue you would like to explore more deeply for yourself, please let me know.

Happy Trails!

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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That’s right, this blog contains the random musings and tales of one mans journey from here to here.  The journey from here to here is perhaps the longest journey there is, through dark valleys and across the highest peaks, it is seemingly endless, and in the end, they say, you will find yourself precisely where you began, exactly the same, yet completely changed, forever …

My hope is that some of you out there might vibe with these tales and musings and join me on this epic journey, together, maybe, just maybe, we can arrive at that long awaited destination, that silently and often times unknowingly yearned for place -HERE

Peace

Tags: Spiritual Enlightenment, Spiritual Counseling, Spiritual Health, Spiritual Health Coaching, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Healing, Meditation, Life Coaching, Spirituality, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening by Ralph
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